The Dark Side of Being a Girl

 I asked my teens (all 120 of them): what does it mean to be a guy or girl (pick your gender only)?  What do you want authors to write about you, that they aren’t right now? Here is one of the responses from Celina S.

                                                     BEING A GIRL, THE DARK EDITION

                                                                           by Celina S.

To be a girl, it means to be everything. I honestly believe guys couldn’t exist without us girls. Being a girl also means to be a pro at personal hygiene.

                What it means to be a girl is that fear of being regarded badly. It means being very fragile but oh-so-strong. It means that hardened shell with the weeping girl inside. Pretending to be stronger that you really are.

                That need for praise because you can’t convince yourself of your worth. It means having to be that stereotypical girl for people to like you, and to live yourself in secret.

                That unique thing about you everyone hates because it makes you different, better even, so they try to destroy that seed of true beauty. It means having to nourish that seed secretly and not being able to show it, otherwise that beautiful flower it’s become will be torn apart by people.

                Being a girl means getting destroyed piece by piece and having to endure verbal abuse, because of course, most of the time girls are viewed more critically that guys judging by looks and weight.

                It means being taken advantage of, not being overly smart (its unattractive) or overly nice (its faked). It means doing everything but no one gives. It means being “useless” and underestimated.

                Being a girl means having to live in hiding, hiding not only from everyone else but from yourself, too. Because you’ll constantly be pulling yourself down. You’re not like the others: pretty enough, liked enough, kind enough. Perfect enough.

                You’re not perfect. Being a girl means that need to be. That trying to be what you are not for the sake of not having to deal with the sneers, laughs, pointing fingers. Those whispers, too.

                “Did’ya see her clothes?”

                “Her hair, ewww.”

                “She’s so mean!”

Those whispers. Girls like to be perfect. Don’t treat them that way because they’ll remember. Forever.

                You don’t ever want to be a girl. Because it’s not just rainbows and smiling faces.

 There’s a dark side to being a girl.

19 thoughts on “The Dark Side of Being a Girl

  1. Wow, I’m a guy and this made me really see how girls can be abused so bad. Us guys think is bad when we get a busted lip! Good job, Celina S.

  2. Amazing! Truely, guys and other girls will always judge other girls by their traits. But I personally feel that guys can also feel ignored. Some guys don’t make the cut when it comes to popularity and start hanging out with “The Nerds” and are judged when they do so.

  3. This made me feel like being a girl does have a dark side. Now when I think about being a girl I should just ignore the people who are picking on me for being who I am. I totally get the wanting to be perfect but can’t,personally I think when slowed down on trying that I found who am what I wanna be when I grow up. I found my talent and I would like to help other girls who are stuck just like I was. So this is a very inspirational post.

  4. I like the article , but honestly I think that being a girl is a matter of if you care what other people think of you . I think its a matter of if your proud of yourself or if you need someone to be proud you . The article is great though. People know what they see about girls , they dont actually know whats actually going on or how they actually feel. Every girl is different.

  5. Very good: I have to say that I never fully realized just how hard it is to be a girl, mainly because I happen to be a guy. This blog has a lot more on how hard it is to be a girl vs. a guy.

  6. I love how this person wrote about the other side of girls what people don’t see. I think that some people will now know why some girls act a certain way around some people.

  7. Being a girl is hard and this makes me feel better to be recognized as being a female and someone is finally writing about our struggles of not being perfect and having imperfections.

    • i totally agree with everything, because girls go throuugh a lot. Having to do make-up, hair, and finding the right outfit to impress people. Guys should understand the things we have to go through and the struggle it takes to try to be someone we’re not.

  8. I have to agree with the dark side of being a girl because it is not always rainbows and smiles we have our bad times and we are not always happy and we are not perfect either.I agree completelywith the dark side of being a girl and being a girl is completely diffecult living up in expectations and we are never perfect.

  9. I agree with this post because girls in my opinion have it harder than boys because they have to go throgh more things in life than guys can imagine

  10. As a girl, I know that being teased and being told that your outfit is so ugly isn’t a thing that i like to hear and neither does anyone else but especially other girls. I agree with the statement that says that girls are held to perfection and when we are held to that standard it makes us feel like we can’t do anything for ourselves. Like we have to do everything for everyone else, even though we should being doing things for ourselves and our self pride.

  11. I believe girl’s are meant to be well dressed or well hygiene but girls are also allowed to be strong inside and out. I think guys struggle with these problems as well but in a different perspective but as we all continue to laugh at each other and exclude others we forget to realize really just like me and you, we have flaws.

  12. In all honesty, being a girl truly is tough. We struggle more with our outside image more than boys (in my opinion). I wake up everyday wanting to just “bum” it but the moment I step out of my bedroom, my mom would tell me to change. I believe that we all have our imperfections because nobody is perfect. Nobody should feel like they’re worthless because of the way that they are. Embrace your uniqueness; it
    ‘s good to stand out from everybody else. Not a lot of people think that i struggle with insecurity but everybody does. Everybody is different and if others don’t like you, who cares? You should be yourself at all times.

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